HAPPINESS IS NOT A ______ YOU CAN ______ ...

YOU are hunting the elusive HAPPINESS, a mossy-backed, ruddy-eyed cryptozoological wonder found only in our beloved town of Bear Creek. With what apparatuses of self-skewering do you seek Happiness, bud? Choose one: [Drugs, abusive relationships, perverse sexual desire, technological self-flagellation / dependence, creating things, something else entirely].

Don’t worry! The Creek’s own Brown Bear Hot Dog Stand and Suicide Prevention Center is here to help you find Happiness! Our crack team of Happiness Operators are managed through our sister agency—Brown Bear Dogs & Cogs—and can get your mind ready to navigate the wilderness ahead of you!

Ready for your journey? Browse to twitter dot com, and strike up a conversation with one of these super-qualified people today. If you don't see the Dogs & Cogs logo on their profile, they ain't our people! Don't trust just any old body with your apparatuses!

Some example conversation starters:


(Right click the above list and select "Reload Frame" to refresh it. Google Form updates once every 5-10 minutes.)

The promotional Brown Gold Token below entitles you to one free 5-response conversation with an Operator. Slide into these folks' DMs, show your promo token, and talk about your apparatuses any way you see fit. Be honest. Be candid. Be real. Be fake. Be human! Be something else! An Operator will get you on the path to Happiness ASAP1.

1 Results not guaranteed. Limited liability.

Looking to join the Brown Bear Dogs & Cogs Happiness Operators? Apply today!

Dogs & Cogs: "Season the reason."