[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[FULLSCREEN ME!]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] ______ _____ _ _____ _____ _____ _____ ___ _ _____ ________ ________ ___ _____ _____ ___ ______ _____ _ _ ___ | ___ \ _ | | |_ _|_ _|_ _/ __ \/ _ \| | / __ \ _ | \/ | ___ \/ _ \/ ___/ ___|_ / _ \| ___ \ ___| \ | |/ _ \ | |_/ / | | | | | | | | | | | / \/ /_\ \ | | / \/ | | | . . | |_/ / /_\ \ `--.\ `--.(_) / /_\ \ |_/ / |__ | \| / /_\ \ | __/| | | | | | | | | | | | | | _ | | | | | | | | |\/| | __/| _ |`--. \`--. \ | _ | /| __|| . ` | _ | | | \ \_/ / |____| |_ | | _| |_| \__/\ | | | |____ | \__/\ \_/ / | | | | | | | /\__/ /\__/ /_ | | | | |\ \| |___| |\ | | | | \_| \___/\_____|___/ \_/ \___/ \____|_| |_|_____/ \____/\___/\_| |_|_| \_| |_|____/\____/(_) \_| |_|_| \_\____/\_| \_|_| |_/ [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[FULLSCREEN ME!]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] this game is dedicated to people who don't vote or give a shit really ..::----::.. ..::-----------------::.. ..::-----------------------------:::.. vote here ==>>> ..::------------------------------------------:::... ..:----------------==---------------------------------------::... ..::::::::-::----------====+=====----------------------------------------::. ..::::::::::::::::::---------------====+====----------------------------------== ..::::::::::::::::::--------------------------====+=====-------------------------===- .-::::::::::::::::--:--------------------------------==-----------------------======. ------:::::::::::----===---------------------------------------------------======++ :----------::::-==+***###*++==------------------------------------------=======++=. .---------------***********##*+--------------------------------------========++++. :--------------++++++++*++=---------------------------------------========+++=== ROCK THE VOTE -------------=+++++++++--------------------------------------=========+++====: :::-----------+++++++++-----------------------------------==========++======= REGISTER TO VOTE .--::-:-------++++++++*---------------------------------===================+= :-----::-----+*++++++*------------------------------=====================++: REGISTER FOR DISNEY+ ===>>>> I AM THE SENATE :--------:---=*++++++*=--------------------------=======================+++ .-------------**+++++*+------------------------========================+++- EAT @KFC :------------*****+++#=-----------------------=======================++++: .------------+**##*++#+-----------------------======================+++++ KENTUCKY FRIED SPIRIT ------------=+*%%**+#+-----------------------=====================+++++- :-----------=*##*#**#*----------------------=====================++++++. .------------+%#++#*##----------------------====================+++++++ -----------*+###+%**%=---------------------===================++++++*- .=---------++***+*%##+----------------------=================++++++=. ====------+******##*+----------------------================++++++: .-===------=+****+==------------------------==============+++++: :-==-------===-------------------------===============++++- .-==--------------------------------==============+++- .:-------------------------------=============++=. :----------------------------============+=. :-------------------------============: .:---------------------==========: <<=== if you scroll to just the right point, this ballot box looks like a star destroyer .:------------------========- .:--------------=======-. :-----------======. .--------====: <<<<<===== right this way to vote .:----==: .:-- the ARENA is 5 minutes of ideological combat. each participant uses their fight corpus (chosen by YOU) as a weapon. fight corpuses can be as long or short as you want them (about 30,000 characters is the maximum). after they're read through, the party's over for their attached combatant. the ARENA is a 3D space that looks like a political compass. a huge fucking mallet in its center, THE JUDGE, crushes anyone foolish enough to stand underneath it. the ARENA is text pitted against text in pixellated glory! _______ _______ _____ ________ ___ ______ _____ _____ _ _ ___________ ________ ___ _____ _ _ _____ _____ / ___\ \ / / ___|_ _| ___| \/ | | ___ \ ___| _ | | | |_ _| ___ \ ___| \/ || ___| \ | |_ _/ ___| \ `--. \ V /\ `--. | | | |__ | . . | | |_/ / |__ | | | | | | | | | | |_/ / |__ | . . || |__ | \| | | | \ `--. `--. \ \ / `--. \ | | | __|| |\/| | | /| __|| | | | | | | | | | /| __|| |\/| || __|| . ` | | | `--. \ /\__/ / | | /\__/ / | | | |___| | | | | |\ \| |___\ \/' / |_| |_| |_| |\ \| |___| | | || |___| |\ | | | /\__/ / \____/ \_/ \____/ \_/ \____/\_| |_/ \_| \_\____/ \_/\_\\___/ \___/\_| \_\____/\_| |_/\____/\_| \_/ \_/ \____/ >push too hard "The system break man, child, and women into figures 2 columns for "Who is" and "Who ain't niggas" Numbers is hard and real and they never have feelings But you push too hard, even numbers got limits" ---Mos Def "Mathematics" i guess what Mos Def is saying here is that you should definitely overclock your PowerHaus PC so that you blow this game out on maximum settings. GET SUM! ___ ___ _____ _ _ _____ ___ ___ _____ _ _ _____ | \/ || _ || | | || ___|| \/ || ___|| \ | ||_ _| | . . || | | || | | || |__ | . . || |__ | \| | | | | |\/| || | | || | | || __| | |\/| || __| | . ` | | | | | | |\ \_/ /\ \_/ /| |___ | | | || |___ | |\ | | | \_| |_/ \___/ \___/ \____/ \_| |_/\____/ \_| \_/ \_/ >go north you can't because the computer controls everything! TIP: use the SPACE bar to switch between views! a combatant's fight corpus controls what moves they make! these words cause a combatant to face left: [left,communism,communist,socialism,democrat,faggot,hippie,hipster,gay,voting,vote,youth,red,Marx,Lenin,Engels,peace,art,humanities,feminism,feminist,transgender,choice,identity,artist,riots,black,diversity,latino,workers,partisan,the,suicide,passive,tumblr,safety,microaggression,Hamilton,ally,humanitarian,freethinker,lesswrong,unamerican,zoomers,millenials,anarchy,antifa,women,girl,woman] these words cause a combatant to face right: [right,capitalism,capitalist,consumer,consumerism,life,fetus,God,country,bible,redneck,war,crony,cronyism,race,racism,racist,conservative,conservatives,republican,military,troops,Reagan,Bush,Goldwater,Watergate,passion,forage,foraging,male,man,men,Christian,Christians,Christ,gerrymandering,gerrymander,a,grand,GOP,white,hispanic,anti-gay,anti-abortion,Texas,Jesus,family,honor,duty,veteran] . //(/(/////**** ... (((##((//*//////***** . . #((###(((/(//////********.. (((##%%((((//////*********, (((###((((////((/*********,* (//###/*////**/*,**,.,,**,,,*. ((#(,,,.,,,(((,*,. .**,,, */#,. x (##.**, x ,*,,. FIRE FIRE FIRE /#*.x ..//, . .**...x ,(,*., ##(((x/((#, . ***,,,x,,*,,* ###(/x((## * (*,***x,,,.* #.x%#%##/#///**,**,.x .,. #,,#%%#&%(/#**/,,*.x..,* #(((##(( *,*.,,,.,.,,,, ##%%##.,/,,*,,,,,,*,,,, ######(/##*,*,,,,,,*. #####%#/*****,. **/... shooting moves combatants around the arena! the direction a combatant has moved in most is their ALIGNMENT. having an alignment that is the same as the currently-equipped weapon increases that weapon's damage! words with these suffixes cause a combatant to fire their weapon (i think... sheeeeit, i don't know when these guys are gonna shoot!): HOOD NESS ION ADE ISE DOM AL GRAPH ITY SHIP LOGY LINESS ISM OR MENT ANT CY AGE IST NCY AL AN ANT ENT ARY BLE ful ic ish less ous ot ord ss they y ure ad ve an ns --- you'll have to discover these for yourself, but certain WORDS OF POWER give combatants a boost so they can shoot more bigger, more harder. fucking awesome! _ _ _____ ___ ______ _____ _ _ _____ | | | || ___| / _ \ | ___ \| _ || \ | |/ ___| | | | || |__ / /_\ \| |_/ /| | | || \| |\ `--. | |/\| || __| | _ || __/ | | | || . ` | `--. \ \ /\ /| |___ | | | || | \ \_/ /| |\ |/\__/ / \/ \/ \____/ \_| |_/\_| \___/ \_| \_/\____/ >shoot King Graham you can only do that if you find a gun >shoot self you can't do that right now, O(K)? >shoot Roberta and Ken Williams you can only do that if you want to go to jail ANONGUN (LIBERTARIAN aligned, kickback): your typical shotgun-like weapon for warm, live hands. the kick moves the combatant backwards when they shoot it. LONG GLASS TUBE (LEFT aligned, moves left): throw these little guys out and then detonate them later. <<>> LIFESABER (RIGHT aligned, moves right): a melee weapon in a shooter? that's lame. it steals energy from enemy combatants though, like all good political vampires. CAGED BLUEBIRD (no alignment, no movement): twitter sucks, web2.0 is evil, and this weapon is god(like). it teleports the user after it's fired. anyone hit by it is sure to be subtweeted! THE GREATEST WEAPON OFT TURNED AGAINST ITSELF (press the 'K' key) is the HUMAN MIND or in this case, finger. Suicide. If you want to make a character kill themselves, you can. __ __ / / \ \ / / ______ ______ ______ \ \ < < |______|| weee ||______| > > \ \ / / \_\ /_/ FUN* ARENA GAMES POLITICAL COMPASS: ARENA: assign each of the four avatars a long-ish text file containing their ideological written work (either fiction or non-fiction will do). bet on who will win. if you don't want to use real money (which you shouldn't, because that's fucking stupid), use Clout. thoroughly denounce the bad guys who triumph (you know who they are), even when their exploits net you a big payday. surely no one will put money on the likes of Hitler, or Mao... CHAMPIONS: assign each of the four avatars to your favorite (or least favorite) author, based of course, on your feelings about said author. fill four text files with quotes from each author's books (padding the document with copy/pastes), then give them to their champions and see who gets the most kills. DID NOTHING WRONG: as CHAMPIONS, but see who gets the least number of kills (if an author gets Zero kills by the time the shooting stops, that means they DID NOTHING WRONG). ARE WE THE BADDIES?: instead of using political texts, use transcripts of you and your friend's online arguments. everybody picks a champion for their friend (settle disputes with roshambo, or guns or whatever), then uses a collection of their sayings and subtweets as that champion's fight corpus. whoever gets the most kills is right, and that's final. ONE LINERS VS. TEXT WALLS: ever wondered if the "14 words" could beat Mein Kampf in a slugfest? now you can! assign 3 characters one-liners (either short quotes of their own, or whateverrr you want), but give the remaining character a nuanced philosophical treatment of some subject. pad the one-liner documents with repeat copy/paste so that they're roughly the same length as the longer work. whoever has the most kills at the end is the winner. A CIVILIZED DISCUSSION: gather text from forums or reddit, and use it to compose fight corpuses for characters with similar ideology. when somebody gets a kill, restart the game and replace their text with a blank document so they won't be able to move or shoot (forums are for civilized discussions, NOT violence). last person without bloody hands is the winner. HITLER'S MAN MILK CHALLENGE: use whatever texts and rules you want, but have a lot of milk on hand. whenever Hitler gets a kill, take a drink of milk, really guzzle it, letting it dribble all over your clothes. MAO'S BEANBOOZLED GREAT FAMINE CHALLENGE: buy jellybeans from this stupid ass site, you paypigs: (https://www.jellybelly.com/beanboozled-jelly-beans/c/341). whenever Mao gets a kill, eat one at random. you don't know if you'll get one that tastes good or like shit. GANDHI'S SEXUAL WILLPOWER CHALLENGE: fill a document with quotes about celibacy (here are some of Gandhi's: https://selfdefinition.org/celibacy/gopal-krishna-collection/quotes-by-mahatma-gandhi-part-1.htm). use that as Gandhi's corpus, and use whatever you want for everyone else (erotic fiction that gets you charged is a pretty good choice). fill your browser tabs with pornography that stimulates you. keep the game visible at all times. you can start masturbating if you want to, but you must stop as soon as Gandhi kills someone. RAND'S "READ MY HEAVY SHIT" CHALLENGE: use "Anthem" for Rand's corpus, and whatever you'd like for the other characters. pick up an Ayn Rand book ("Atlas Shrugged"? *shrug*), and start reading. continue reading until the match has ended. if Rand gets the most kills, you must read the whole book. SUICIDE FAIRY: play any other game mode, but use the cheat code (K) to stop people from killing each other. see if you can make it a whole game with no deaths! MODS ARE ASLEEP, LET'S MOD!: fuck with the files from the PC version (open the .json files in /www/ with notepad and change keywords to other, key-er words, edit the character graphics in paint to make Gandhi look like this: https://img.itch.zone/aW1hZ2UvMTU2MTY5Ny85MTE4NDY5LnBuZw==/original/XT68P5.png) *games aren't fun, they're dumb VOTE OR DIE, GET INVOLVED OR EXECUTE YOURSELF DAMN YOU, JOHN ROMERO ... CALL ME!